


Bilbo and the Oakenboner

by poedaaaayumeron



Series: The Unexpected Show [2]
Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Exhibitionism, Kinda, M/M, Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Public Sex, Slight felching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-24
Updated: 2013-01-24
Packaged: 2017-11-26 17:37:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/652757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poedaaaayumeron/pseuds/poedaaaayumeron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo confronts Thorin about his voyeuristic ways...</p><p><strong>EDITED.</strong> Any remaining mistakes can be blamed on the rum I am drinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bilbo and the Oakenboner

**Author's Note:**

> If you aren't used to my incredibly inappropriate and immature titles...I dunno what to say at this point.

Thorin sat out on the veranda alone, listening to the din of noise the company was making inside the hall. They were making merry after dinner upon Gandalf’s return, and the king was glad for the time alone.

He was hard, painfully aroused since waking up that morning, and he wasn’t afforded any time alone for the whole day. Mostly, the hobbit was following him around, making polite conversation and all around being a terrible tease. The halfling would lean close when he spoke to him, would brush past him, once even placed his hand lingeringly on Thorin’s arm as he laughed at a joke Bofur had said. The dwarf was halfway to thinking the infuriatingly gorgeous creature was doing all of this on purpose. Of course, Bilbo had no idea what Thorin had witnessed, nor that the dwarf had been affected so, but Thorin was aggravated nonetheless.

Dinner and Gandalf’s return seemed to serve as distraction enough however, and the dwarf slipped out onto the veranda.

There was a bench facing out over the grounds, and it was quite large, but it was comfortable enough and the evening breeze helped to cool his heated flesh a small bit. He had shed his furs when he stepped out, the large coat in a pile next to him on the bench. He was left in just his tunic, trousers and heavy boots, and he hoped that maybe the fresh air could clear his head enough that he could return to the hall to sleep with some semblance of dignity.

After about half an hour, and no closer to willing his erection away, Thorin groaned and gave in to his need. He untied his breeches and shoved his small clothes away just enough to grip himself with a shaking hand. A shuddering moan left him and he let his head tip back as he simply enjoyed himself, pulling up the images of the hobbit from the night before.

Very suddenly, a weight settled in his lap and a hot, wet mouth pressed against his parted lips.

Thorin released a startled sound as his eyes flew open, even as he returned the kiss, lifting his hands to tangle in soft, blond curls. He pulled away quickly, slightly bewildered, wondering if he had actually been so distracted that he missed the hobbit—the very _naked_ hobbit—join him on this side of the bench. It was almost as if the man had appeared out of thin air in front of him.

And in naught but his flesh.

With that observation made, Thorin’s thoughts quickly devolved to ‘want,’ ‘need,’ and ‘mine’ very quickly. Hands lowered to splay fingers across the pale expanse of flesh of Bilbo’s soft abdomen, then slowly slid up over his chest, before moving down to grip at his waist. He let out a ragged moan when a small hand wrapped around his erection and let his head fall forward against the hobbits shoulder.

“For me?” Bilbo questioned coyly, stroking this heated flesh in his hand with surety, and Thorin could feel the man smirk against his cheek.

Thorin choked out a sound and nodded minutely, the hand on his cock moving expertly against his sensitized flesh.

“I was aware of your eyes on me, last night,” the hobbit whispered, humping against Thorin’s thigh with a shiver.

“I apologize,” the dwarf groaned out. “I should have—”

“The only thing you should have done was join me,” the halfling interrupted. “I had myself so stretched—” The hobbit mewled as Thorin’s fingers flexed around his waist. “—and ready for you.”

Thorin shuddered against the little man above him, tilting his head back to pull the hobbit into another scorching kiss, tongues pressing and teeth biting. The halfling was surprisingly challenging, but something feral in Thorin was decidedly pleased by this. Hands tangling in short curls again the dwarf shifted his thigh beneath Bilbo, pressing the mass of muscle into the hobbit’s arousal. He relished in Bilbo’s delighted moan, growling against his mouth and pressing harder into the kiss.

Bilbo didn’t back off or crumble submissively, only fought back with the same intensity, releasing Thorin’s cock to bury his hands in the mane of black hair. He tugged aggressively at Thorin’s braids, pulling another hungry snarl from the prince, and Bilbo grinned into the kiss. Thorin pulled back from the kiss, breathing harsh as he took in Bilbo’s flushed face, his chin reddened by Thorin’s beard and lips slick with their shared spit. Thorin sighed as he leaned forward to press a chaste kiss against Bilbo’s lips before moving to lap and bite at the halfling’s throat. One hand slid down the line of the hobbit’s spine, circling each bump as he went. As he reached the hobbit’s tail bone, Bilbo chuckled.

“There’s no need to prepare me,” he said huskily, his voice cracking slightly with arousal.

“Your actions last night wouldn’t—” Thorin began, concern in his voice, but he froze as he felt the slickness at Bilbo’s entrance.

“I’ve taken the liberty,” Bilbo started, lifting himself onto his knees and positioning himself over Thorin’s cock, “of getting myself ready before I came to you.”

And with that, he sunk down onto the dwarf, a cry of pain and pleasure bursting out of him. Thorin gasped, arching and his head falling back against at the sudden heat engulfing him completely in one swift movement.

“ _Yes_!” Bilbo shouted, eyes rolling back as he rolled his hips. “Gods, I’ve wanted this.”

“I need a moment,” Thorin gasped, holding the hobbit’s hips tightly, gritting his teeth as the urge to come embarrassingly soon became almost too much.

“So long,” the halfling continued, his voice going weak as he began to shake. “I have wanted this for so long, _Thorin_. Not just last night, or the night before.”

“Bilbo,” Thorin whispered into the halfling’s ear, nibbling on the lobe and pulling a whine from the halfling.

“So many nights I’ve lain awake, hard like a adolescent for you,” the hobbit murmured, shuddering sharply as the dwarf rocked up into him. Thorin could barely keep himself together, but he couldn’t just sit there in that heat and do nothing.

“How long?” he asked, voice breaking as nails bit into the back of his neck.

“Make me feel it for weeks,” Bilbo whispered instead, sending a white-hot spike of arousal through Thorin’s gut. “Make me scream loud enough for the others to hear.”

“How. _Long_?” Thorin hissed, the tenuous grip he had on his control cracking more each second he sat still inside the hobbit.

“Since that first night in Bag End,” Bilbo whispered, squeaking as he was lifted bodily off of Thorin and dropped onto the bench on his hands and knees. The halfling released a delighted sound as the dwarf pushed his chest down against the bench and held him there with bruising pressure between his shoulder blades. The hobbit’s face was buried in Thorin’s forgotten coat, his needy sounds muffled in the furs.

“Thorin, please,” Bilbo begged, wiggling his pert bum enticingly. So Thorin positioned himself and thrust, setting a punishing pace before the halfling even finished his initial sound of surprise.

And Bilbo was absolutely filthy, his wanton moans loud even as they were filtered through the pelts on Thorin’s fur coat, his aborted thrusts back onto the dwarf’s cock, and the way he clenched around him. The halfling begged for harder, faster, more and by the gods, did Thorin oblige him. He brought his hands away from where they pinned Bilbo’s shoulders against the bench and slid around to hold the smaller man’s thighs, using them as leverage to snap the man’s body back against his vicious thrusts. Thorin paused, despite Bilbo’s keening cries for him to continue, and placed one foot on the ground before resuming. The new position added power to his thrusts and changed the angle just enough to have Bilbo screaming and arching his back sharply.

Thorin growled, sliding his hands up Bilbo’s thighs, deliberately avoiding where the halfling needed his hands most, and pulled the man up so he was flush against the dwarf. Bilbo reached up above his head with one hand, grabbing a handful of Thorin’s hair, while the other hand reached for his cock desperately. The dwarf halted its journey and continued to fuck the hobbit mercilessly, pulling every deliciously wrecked noise he could from the tiny man.

“Gods, Thorin please,” Bilbo whined, letting his head fall back against the king’s chest and shoulder. “I can’t take it. I need—I need to come!”

The dwarf groaned at the begging, arousal pulsing through him tenfold, and released the hobbit’s wrist. Immediately, the man began stroking himself in earnest, bringing himself off with what could only be described as a scream. His cum streaked across the bench and Thorin’s coat, his body clenching around the dwarf’s cock, making the heat almost unbearable. Bilbo released the dwarf’s hair and fell forward into the mess he made, and Thorin had to shift his grip to hold the halfling in place.

“Oh, gods,” the hobbit keened as each thrust nailed his prostate and lit his body on fire with over-stimulation. “Thorin, come for me! Please!”

Thorin was coming before he could even register Bilbo’s words, his orgasm pumping his seed deep into the man below him. He gasped out the halfling’s name, his voice sounding entirely too ruined for Thorin’s liking. Bilbo shivered beneath him, moaning as the dwarf’s cock pulsed in his tight channel.

It took Thorin a few moments to compose himself enough to pull out, and when he did, he spread the globes of Bilbo’s arse to check his hobbit for injury. His entrance was fucked red and loose, leaking spunk, and the sight was far too intoxicating. Thorin leaned forward and licked Bilbo’s entrance, pressing his tongue inside for just a moment before pulling out at Bilbo’s protest. He licked his hobbit’s entrance clean, enjoying the pleasure-pained mewls that met his ears before pulling back completely and gathering Bilbo into his arms.

Bilbo offered his mouth for a kiss, and Thorin obliged, their mouths moving lazily against each other, no longer battling. Just enjoying the presence of the other.

Suddenly, the hobbit pulled back with a laugh. “I still can’t believe that I had to drop myself naked into your lap before you would do anything,” he chuckled sleepily, tucking his head under Thorin’s chin.

“I thought you would be embarrassed, had I approached you,” Thorin said, though the words sounded like the excuse they were.

“Well, after that performance, if you ever wish to bugger me senseless again, please approach me. I am more than willing,” Bilbo chuckled, turning to press a kiss against Thorin’s throat.

“Noted,” Thorin replied, his own laugh rumbling in his chest, pulling his hobbit tighter against his chest with a huff, and they stayed like that until the sun almost disappeared behind the horizon and they were forced by necessity to get up and dress.

**TBC**

**Author's Note:**

> There is a third part of this series planned. Won't be until AFTER the next two fics, however.


End file.
